Deconstruction and Reconstruction
by BarkingLynx
Summary: Formerly "such a broken boy", i decided to give up on keeping that just a few drabbles. This begins two years prior to the Golden Trio's arrival at hogwarts, focussing in earlier chapters around Edward's time as a teacher. But things aren't ever as they seem.
1. Chapter 1

At the start of the year, Edward had made a deal with Dumbledor. He would teach alchemy at Hogwarts, and Dumbledor would give him food, shelter and full access to the school's library. Along with that, any help the staff could offer him on returning to his home. The golden boy had accepted immediately, jumping at the chance to return home- to his brother. At the begining of the year, Dumbledor had announced Edward's arrival at the school- And the addition of alchemy as a subject. It had gone over rather well, Ed had thought.

The staff wondered how such a broken boy had become one of them. They did not pity him, though. There was fire in the boy yet. Edward was softspoken amongst the fellow staff, but when he did speak, that fire contained deep within him rose up, warming but not burning his onlookers. The young professor left the same imprint on every staff member; he would do anything to reach his goal. Very few, however, knew what that was.

The softspoken professor was something of a heartthrob to the teenagers in attendance. Edward hardly noticed. He was far too caught up in his own mind, his home so far away, to keep up with rumors about him. That was until Valentine's Day has rolled around, and he wondered with a pang if Alphonse was spending it with anyone. When the holiday of love came through the castle, Edward felt it. Confessions of anonymous love that he knew he didn't deserve. Even a few love potions slipped in. The golden alchemist wondered if the students would ever learn.

Unfortunately, now was the end of the school year. Edward was hardly closer to returning home, to his brother. To return to Alphonse. Edward no longer responded to anything emotionally. Not on purpose, of course, but he seemed to have left his feeling with Alphonse. Other then the dull, throbbing pain in his chest, the ache of missing someone dear. Edward feared he'd never be able to make that leave.

**first fanfic, whoo! this is the start of a series, because hey, why not. there isn't really any major plot here, just some general things i've had in my head. i hope you enjoy, r&r, and keep an eye out for the series! n.n -Lynxy**


	2. Professor Elric

All the young alchemist knew was that his head hurt like hell. Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet, staggering and leaning on a tree. In the back of his mind, he knew that his brother wasn't present. This didn't stop him from softly muttering, "Al..?" an anguished look crossing his face. But Al had his body back- he'd be okay without Edward now. Ed stumbled on through the brush, noticing that his automail- Hell, he still had automail- was dented in a few places, and both the arm and leg creaked ominously when he moved them. Clapping weakly, he put his hand on the top of his arm, transmuting it in to a blade that he used to cut through the plantlife blocking his path.

After what Edward asumed was an hour, he made it out of the forest. Infront of him was the most massive castle he'd ever seen. Briefly, he sat down and stared at it. It was gorgeous. "Hey, Al-" He started, breaking off as he remembered. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes. He glanced back over at the castle, sighing. Once he felt more like walking, he'd go investigate.

He had sat, observing the castle for around 20 minutes, trying desperately not to cry.

Slowly, he began his climb towards the castle once again, working up the hill as quickly as his busted automail would allow. As he walked, he reviewed what had happened in his head. There had been a fight with Father, and in order to get Al's body back, he'd been dumped here, it seemed? Edward wondered where the equivalency in that was. Wait, maybe this was the afterlife. He thought he was in too much pain for that, but it dawned on him that he was too far gone for heaven. He knew for a fact Al had his body back, though. The elder Elric didn't know how he knew, but he did. Ed was sure of it. Finally, he had made it all the way to the castle, exhausted and beaten. Edward first tried to simply open the massive doors, and then kicked them. Neither worked. Well, fine, he thought, clapping his hands and placing them on the door. That didn't seem to work, either. So Ed tried knocking, and then giving up and taking a break for a few minutes. Just his luck; the door slung open as he sat down. No one seemed to be there. Unnerving, but he needed answers. Where he was, what this castle was, and if he could perhaps be directed to the nearest hotel, so Ed pressed on. As he walked through, the doors closed behind him. Never a good thing, he thought. Though nothing could have prepared him for what was actually in there.

A kind-looking old man with a twinkle in his eye and a beard that nearly dragged the floor stood infront of him, smiling softly. "Hello, there. It is Edward, is it not?" His voice was calm and kind but his knowledge startled Ed, who's English was rusty at the very best. ".. Y-yes. Vhat is it to you, greis?" Edward's voice was harsh and frightened, but lacked vigor. There was no heart behind the words, without Al and his family and friends, no reason to fight on. "I'd like to know how you got here." The old man's voice hadn't changed at all; calm, kind and soft. Ed wished he could trust it. Hell, maybe he could, with no one to fight for. "I vould like to know that myself," he agreed. "I admit, I'm lost." The words tasted disgusting. The elder Elric would usually never admit it. "What is your name, dear boy?" "You fvirst, old man." The elderly man smiled again. "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore." Edward hesitated, unsure if the man was being sarcastic, but.. What did he have to loose? "Edvard Elric." Albus nodded. "Come with me. We should talk somewhere more private." Out of the corner of his eye, Edward swore he saw a painting move.

After a few terrified screams at the paintings and some harsh words between them and him (Edward decided he was just having vivid hallucenations after the second time), they made it to Dumbledore's office. Edward explained everything he could remember leading up to appearing in the forest and before, explaining who he was and what he did as Dumbledore nodded solemnly.

"'Lright, old man. Now's your turn to tell me vhat de hell 'is place is." And the old Professor did, explaining everything about the school ("Dere is no such t'ing as magic, old man") and his job. There was a long pause.

"Let's make a deal." The old man's eyes twinkled as he spoke, a trait that Edward didn't know what to make of. "I can offer you food, shelter, information, any resource you need in order to get home." Edward looked skeptical. "Und vhat do you vant from me?" "I'd like you to teach Alchemy here at Hogwarts. There are dark times upon us in this world and the students need to know how to defend themselves." Any other time, any other situation, Edward would have turned him down in a heartbeat, but he truly had nothing to loose anymore. "Fine, den, old man. I 'ave never taut, I cannot promise good results." "Have faith in yourself. You'll do fine." And so Edward Elric became the youngest Hogwarts professor there had ever been.

Edward's first class was interesting in simple terms. If he had thought speaking English was difficult, writing it was a whole nother ballpark. What he had wrote on the chalkboard was barely legible to him, but he hoped the students would get it. It had a terrible mix of capital and lowercase letters, misplaced letters wherever they sounded right to Edward and all around poor handwriting. "AlcHemie, the scieNse oF uNdersTanding, decoNsTrucTing, and RecoNsTrucTing MaTTer," it read.

As the class filled up, Edward leaned against his desk. In the month or so between the time he had made the deal and the time school has begun, the fire in the eldest Elric's eyes has gone farther out. He had grown skittish and depressed, hardly talking to anyone. Today, though, he was going to talk about alchemy- something that could still make him smile, if only a little. As soon a the last student enterred and the door was shut, Edward looked up and forced a tiny smile. "Guten morgen, evferyone. I am Provfessor Elric." The seventeen year old professor glanced over the room, golden eyes half-dead but shining in the light. "Good morning, Professor Elric." The class answered, all speaking in time with the same monotone. Startled by the response, Edward jumped, ungracefully flipping back on his desk. He swore viciously in Amestrian as he pulled himself back to his feet, making sure his automail was still hidden. The class laughed, but cut off at the venemous glare from the piercing golden eyes.

"Now t'at you ah in my class, disreg'd everyt'ing you know about magic. Alchemie is a science, not magic. Who can tell me de first law of alchemie?" Not a single hand went up. Edward sighed. "De firs' law of alchemie is de law of Equivalent Eshange, stating t'at humankind cannot gain anyt'ing wit'out first giving somet'ing in return."

At the end of class, Edward told them to ask any questions they might have had. Half of the classroom's hands went up. The golden-eyed boy called on a Gryffindor towards the front. "How old are you, sir?" "None of your damn business." "Where are you from?" "Far away." "How did you learn Alchemy?" "I was stupid." And with his skittishness, general appearance and evasiveness of personal questions, Edward became the newest heartthrob professor.

**((Hi! n.n this chapter is a bit weird while i try and get used to writing like this! terribly sorry about that. thanks everyone for the reviews on the first chapter! i was going to make a seperate story for the real, um, story, but hey, what the hell. i'm really sorry for any awkwardness or clunkiness about the chapter! i've got this thing where i can't really go back and read what i've written, too self conscious about it, haha. this is about two years before the golden trio comes to school, by the way! hopefully this works out, bare with me while i learn ed's accent, um.. what else, i write from my iPod and it makes everything difficult, so i'm sorry about any weird typos, i think that's all! see you next chapter!))**


	3. Of Lost Trust and Privacy Invasions

Edward's role as teenage heartthrob went for the most part unnoticed to him. The senior Elric was highly unaware of student's affairs, and didn't particularly care to make himself so. They could easily find out more then he wanted them to know if he got even a little involved, such as his age. The golden boy feared them finding his age, knowing that he'd loose the respect he had in classes and making his job that much more difficult.

Edward remained almost as distant from his fellow teachers as he did the students, sealing his fate as an incredibly juicy bit of hogwarts gossip. There was one exception to his rule of disconnection; he had formed a rather interesting relationship with one Professor Severus Snape.

They weren't friends, exactly, but they were on fairly good terms. Ed had found a sort of trust in him, since the first time he had had a particularly strong panic attack and had to ask for a substitute. Severus had been the only one able to comprehend the complexities of alchemy and was the only one to voulunteer. Since then, Ed had to take advantages of Snape's voulunteering, much to the disdain of his students. Their golden teacher replaced with the greasy-looking potions professor, none of them saw the equivalent exchange Edward so preached in that!

Edward and Severus's conversations were generally rather short, kept to Ed delivering his lesson plans and an apology when he had to duck out. This one was no exception, as few words were shared. "Elric?" Severus's voice was a harshbark, but Ed knew by now that it was his own version of a friendly greeting.

"Severus." Ed replied, head low. Edward clearly did not want to talk. Snape reached out and loosely grabbed the eldest Elric's side. Edward's eyes shot open, fear flooding his gaze. "L-Let go of me.." He managed, closing his eyes as tears and memories of the gate flooded him in equal measure.

The young professor didn't manage to get far out of Snape's grasp before he collapsed, hyperventilating harshly, automail crashing loudly against the floor. "Elric?!" Snape snapped again, this time louder and with more curiousity than concern. When the golden boy again didn't respond, the older man ran to him and pulled his head up, making stern eye contact. "_Legilimens_." Tears flooded the Elric's eyes again, and Severus's mind flooded with images he never expected to see.

Depthless whiteness and a cold silver gate greeted him, along with a confused and far younger version of Edward Elric. Across from the younger Elric, something terrible kneeled. The only way it could be differentiated from the vast whiteness it was both composed of and surrounded in was the black aura it gave off and it's terrible grin. Severus watched as a bystander as the terrible white figure spoke in a foreign language to Edward, and as the young bog was dragged screaming into the open gate by the small black hands.

Soon, the boy woke up once again, Severus assumed in reality, missing a leg. More foreign words and a scream, now his arm was gone but the suit of armor moved... Eventually, the flow of information came to a hard stop, and both professors were left on the ground.

Edward glared daggers at Snape, dearly needing someone to blame for all that he just experienced over again. "Vhat vas t'at?!" He cried, fear overwhelming the anger in his voice. "Vhat did you do?!" The golden boy shoved himself to his feet, stumbling to the wall to lean against it. "'Ow vhere you in my mind?!" Severus wondered how Edward knew what he had done, settling on that the young professor had either more secrets or mental strength then he let on.

"Legilimency." Severus said slowly, keeping a level tone despite his labored breaths. "T'e fuck is t'at?" Edward growled, golden eyes alight with a furious flame. Only in his moment of intense rage did Edward truly look like himself, and that would pass, taking Ed's personality and flame back away as quick as it came.

"You just said it, _professor._" Snape sneered. "I was in your mind. That is Legilimency." Another wave of fury overcame the eldest Elric, who clenched his fists and slipped in to a fighting stance, but it passed as quick as it came and Edward was left gasping for air and barely standing again. "Fine. Vhat do you esspe't me to do for you to keep my secrets, t'en?" The broken shell of the Fullmetal Alchemist muttered, with a hollow look. Snape shook his head. "Nothing. I saw all I needed to know." And with a swish of his cloak, Snape strode away, leaving Edward to find a way back to his quarters with tears staining his face avoiding being seen.

Edward didn't ask Snape to be his substitute again.

**((Sorry this took me so long! i've been in florida and also i really.. really don't like writing snape.. so i'm sorry he's so out of character here! once again, thanks to everyone for their reviews. also, at , this is two years before harry came to hogwarts. the next chapter is probably going to be halloween-themed because hells bells i love halloween. i'm also sorry this was such a short chapter! thanks everyone for reading! -Lynxy))**


	4. Of Halloween and Magic Wands

Halloween at Hogwarts was disorienting at best for Edward. Then again, really, so was everything in this strange world so unlike his own. People kept asking who or what he was going to "be", and Ed was getting fed up with it. Ed had no idea what this holiday was about or was supposed to be. So the seventeen-year-old alchemist did what he knew how to do best. Edward went to the library and researched the holiday. Gradually, he amassed a formidable stack of history books, and once he was satisfied with his stack, took one off the top and began to read.

The first thing he gathered about the holiday was that it was pointless in the world of nonmagical people, "Muggles" as the wizards called them. There, it was just a bunch of morons in costume. Here, as far as Ed could see, it was also just a bunch of morons in costume, but it had some sort of magic amplifier, according to one history book. The alchemist wondered if that applied to alchemy as well, and he'd be damned if anyone stopped him from finding out- if it was in these books. Frowning, Ed noticed he was nearing the bottom of his stack and hadn't even seen a mention of alchemy.

Deciding it was time for a break, Ed stood up and stretched. The alchemist looked out the windows and frowned, unsure of how much time had passed. Ed found himself thankful it was Saturday as he gazed at the sunset. Edward replaced the books on the shelves they came from and left with a polite nod towards Madam Pince. Most of the student body knew when Ed was coming down the hall by the uneven footsteps. Ed was incredibly glad none of them knew why his footsteps were uneven; he didn't want to deal with the questions.

And then it hit him. "Of course!" He said outloud, in Amestrian. Ed could just ask Madam Pince! He nearly slapped himself for not realizing it sooner, rushing back to the library as quickly as he could without actually running. Shuffling in to the room as fast as his automail leg would permit, Ed came over to her desk, wearing a forced but polite smile. Madam Pince gave him a look of contempt. "What is it that you need, Professor Elric?" She grumbled, practically spitting out 'professor.' Ed was beginning to remember why he didn't talk to her very much.

"I just 'aff a few question about zis upcomingk holiday." Ed spoke as politely as he thought must be possible, with an incline of his head and a polite smile. "Yes, spit them out." She replied, looking back down at what she had been reading before he had interrupted. "Vell, I 'ad read t'at zis holiday 'ad some magical si-" Ed paused, unsure of how to pronounce the word. Damn english. "Siknefikance." He said slowly, silently damning the language. "And I zought you mite know somet'ingk about it?" Not exactly to his point, but adding alchemy in to the mix would just confuse her, he thought.

""Hm, yes, I know something of it. On the night of Halloween, magic is amplified, due to the increased activity of spirits and other magical beings. And.." She hesitated. Edward noticed, a desperate look growing in his eyes. "Und?" He said, barely able to calm himself. "Some say that it's also because the barrier between worlds is thinner that day." Edward paled. "S'ank you, Ma'am. Sat was fery helpful." He murmered, walking away as quickly as he could. Perhaps Ed could get home on halloween? He almost couldn't hide his own excitement. Now was time for some practical application of his theories. It was then he realized that he couldn't use wandless spells.

Still, Ed wouldn't let this stop him. The coming monday after his classes, he went straight to Dumbledore. He practically ran the old man through with questions about getting a wand; who the store owner was, what they were made from, how they worked. Most importantly, if he could get to Diagon Alley before Halloween. Dumbledore, to Ed's great irritation, laughed at the question. "Of course, my boy." The old professor lead Ed to the fireplace, and Ed wondered for a moment if the old man had completely lost it. Ed frowned. "Zis is a fireplace." He whined a little as he spoke, as if having just been depraved of something deeply important. "Get in the fireplace, that's it.." Ed didn't complain as he climbed in.

Now, take a handful of this powder. Good, now throw it down, say "Diagon Alley" as clearly as you can. When you are ready to return, do the same. Say "Headmaster's office"." The old man's eyes twinkled in an almost unnerving manner. Edward did as he was told, seeing as it was his only choice. To the alchemist's great alarm, bright green flames licked up from where he stood, enveloping his body. Ed nearly screamed, but when he tried it was over and he had a nasty, sooty taste in his mouth. The golden-haired boy looked around apprehensively. Edward didn't fully trust the wizarding world. The alchemist came to the decision that he would complete his mission and go back as quickly as he could. Ed scanned the shops, barely able to locate the wand shop above the sea of magical people. The alchemist stomped over to it, trying his damnedest to not get too in the way and flinching from the noise.

Reaching the store came with a wave of relief. "Hallo?" Ed called, tapping his flesh foot. No one seemed to be there. He was about to leave until he heard a crash and spun around. "Hello." Edward jumped; the man had slid out of seemingly nowhere on a ladder, of all things. The batty old man gave him a smile Ed assumed was supposed to be friendly or reassuring. "I remember every wand I've ever sold, boy, but I do not believe I've ever sold to anyone of your family tree. Unless.. No, of course not." "Nein, you vouldn't 'aff." Ed hesitated but added "I'm mugckleborn." The old wandmaker, Olivander, Ed assumed, looked satisfied. "You look older then the age people usually buy their wands at." Concern clouded Olivander's face. Ed silently cursed, having not prepared his lie that far.

Edward nodded. "I vas trafelingk at zat age, fery hard to track down." Ignoring Olivander's questioning look, he continued. "But I do need a vand now. Edvard Elric, by zee vay." Olivander was clearly not satisfied with the answer, but it would have to do; ed wasn't going to say any more and they both knew it. "Right, right.." The wandmaker went back to one of the rows of boxes and pulled one from the wall. 11 inches, maple, dragon heartstring, Ed read. Gingerly, he took it from the box, waving it very gently. A wave of destruction followed. The wandmaker didn't look the slightest bit surprised, to Ed's confusion. "Do not be disheartened. Few to none find their wands on the first try." This reassurance only made Ed more concerned.

After many more wands and an increasingly wide range of destruction, Olivander frowned and Ed looked about ready to cry. "I wonder.." The old wand maker muttered, walking towards the back of the store. Carefully, he picked up a box from the topmost shelf and returned to the alchemist with it. Smiling, he handed it to Ed. Edward took it carefully, looking at it apprehensively. When he closed his hand around it, he gasped and closed his eyes. A warm feeling flooded his body, starting from the hand clutching the wand and spreading quickly. When Ed opened his eyes, he once again gasped. Golden sparks close to his eye color spewed from the tip of his wand.

"You must have had quite the past, mister Elric." Olivander looked like he could be smiling or frowning. "This is the most volatile combination I've ever created. 11' inches, yew with a pheonix feather core. Pheonixes signify life, rebirth, while the yew signifies death. Very unusual indeed, Mister Elric." Ed nodded, golden eyes clouding with thought. " 'Sank you, sir," he mumbled, laying a few galleons out on the counter and leaving with his new wand tucked in to his pocket. Once he was back within the school walls, he didn't utter a single word, running off to test his theories.

**((alright! i'm going to be throwing out some rather shorty chapters soon, quantity over size though not particularly quality until it actually is halloween! -lynxy))**


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